Caldwell Is Overrun By Crows

The Caldwell Walmart is being swarmed by crows... and the city is getting desperate. Lucky for them I have a solution.

According to a local news story crows are really making a mess of the Caldwell Walmart. The city has tried shooting them and spraying them with grape juice. (Who knew crows don't like grape juice...) The shooting gets PETA all fired up and the grape juice washes away when it rains.

Lucky for Caldwell, I have an idea!  I googled "what is the natural enemy of the crow?" and I came across this website: WHAT EATS.  You type in the name of an animal and it tells you what animal it eats and what animal eats it.  Turns out that the natural enemy of the crow is the hawk and the owl.  So, let's just ship in more hawks and crows -- boom -- problem solved.

Except for the people who called in outrage this morning that hawks and owls swoop in and take off with Chihuahuas and small children.  I call hooey on that.  Sounds like an urban legend to me.

So what do you think Caldwell?  Let's order some hawks and owls! Crow poop problem eliminated!

Sure, you have to deal with hawk and owl poop, but no plan is perfect...