Should I Tell My Child He Has Autism?

Wow, it is Tough being a parent sometimes. My kids hit me up with a doozy of a question yesterday and I didn't know what to say. Feel free to give me your advice. 

We were just walking the dog when my daughter says "what is it called when something is wrong with someone... it starts with an O or an A?" I didn't know what she meant at first and then she started describing a little boy in our neighborhood who has Autism.

It was hard for me to spit out the word. "Oh, I said... Autism?" "Yes!" she said "that's it!" "What happens when someone has Autism?" she says. Oh, I said "it just means your brain thinks a little differently."

She seemed somewhat satisfied with that. Her brother was trailing along on his scooter, casually paying attention to the conversation. She was still intrigued by the subject and proceeded to ask the question I was dreading.

"Do you know anyone who has Autism?" In my head I thought, "Yes I do, your brother has Autism, he just doesn't know about it."

My mind flashed back to 8 years earlier. I was 37 weeks pregnant with her. My son was 2 years old, had stopped speaking, wouldn't look me in the eye, and seemed to be in his own little world. I was sitting in a psychologists office and in a fog I heard the doctor say "your son has an Autism Spectrum Disorder."

The next 3 years were filled with speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, floor time, ABA therapy, and lots of heartache and worry and hope.

I have constantly wondered when is the right time to tell my son he has an Autism Spectrum Disorder? (At age 3 he was re-diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. A High Functioning form of the disorder.)

I always told myself I will tell him when he starts feeling like he is different or has significant troubles, but none of this has happened.

Today my son is 10. He has friends, he does well in a regular classroom in school, and in many ways he is easier to raise than my daughter, but he still has his struggles and his quirks and although my husband may disagree with this label, he still has Autism.

I don't know what to do? I hate to label him. I HATE labels of any kind and I don't want my child to have a label, but I do want him to understand why he struggles in some areas. I want him to know why he has Big Emotions, obsesses over things, and feels really shy. I want him to know that it's ok to think the way he thinks, in fact sometimes its to his benefit. He's got an amazing memory that helps him in school. He has a big heart, and at the end of the day, he's just my Boston. Autism or Aspergers will never set him back in life. It hasn't so far and I won't let it in the future. I'll always be there for him along with his Dad and his sister and we'll help him navigate any tough stuff he runs into just like we would for anyone in our family.

I don't want my son to find out someday and ask "Why?!" "Why didn't you tell me?!" I also don't want him to feel weird or different. So what should I do? Is now the right time to tell my son he has Autism?