The blaze's "suspicious origin" has authorities baffled.

Students at Hillside were safely evacuated Friday morning (January 19th) when they discovered a fire in one of the school's bathrooms. Hours later, smoke was still lingering throughout the school. While accidents like this aren't unheard of, an extenuating circumstance has folks suspicious.

Students had exams that day.

This is leading many to believe that a student caused the fire (which was traced back to a paper towel dispenser that was somehow set ablaze), but to this writer, that answer seems a little too obvious. Let us consider other possible sources of the fire:

  • Mechanical malfunction
  • Disgruntled school employee
  • Global warming
  • Aliens
  • Frank Stallone


Sources say the fire is "suspicious," but none of the possibilities have been ruled out yet. Don't think it could've been aliens? Then how do you explain this "earthquake in the sky" that happened in Idaho recently? Easily. It was aliens.

Aliens tried to burn down Hillside Junior High School. You heard it here first, folks.