Um….How Does This Even Happen?

I don't have a green thumb.  Obvs.  But seriously.  I manage to sort of keep myself and animals alive, so why the heck can't I keep plants alive?  I got these plants in June.  As you can see there's mounting evidence convicting me of being a bad plant owner.  Aside from water what else does a girl need to do to have some greenage in the Treasure Valley?