"She wants to get married, she wants it perfect." Adorable, right? Upon further investigation, choosing this song is a horrible idea.

The title Marry Me leads one to believe it's a country love song about wanting to marry that special someone. And, technically, that is what the song is about. But have you listened to the lyrics? This track is an absolute gut-wrenching tale of heartbreak. Let's look farther into the lyrics:

I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask
I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees
Yeah, she wanna get married
But she don't wanna marry me

As in, yes she's getting married, but not to you. She's the one that got away, you totally blew it, and now she's getting wifed up by some guy you cannot stand. However, you have to bite the bullet and keep it classy:

I could try to find her, get it off of my chest now
But I ain't gonna mess it up, so I'll wish her the best now

Hence, Thomas Rhett Marry Me should probably not be the song you and your future husband dance to for the first time as a married couple. It's literally the saddest song of all time. If you are currently looking for that epic first dance song, let me recommend this little ditty I came up with: