Over the weekend evil tried to invade my home.

I was working in my garden enjoying the last little bit of summer left.  I needed to grab something from the side of my house and happened to look down into the window well that leads into my basement bedroom. There, trying to sneak into my home and undoubtedly attempting to eat me while I sleep, was a snake.

Nay -- an anaconda / cobra hybrid.***

You snake lovers can scream at me all day long about how good they are for the ecosystem -- how they control pests -- how they're harmless.  I don't care.  They are the physical manifestation of evil and they should all be destroyed before they destroy us.

I summoned up all my strength, grabbed a shovel and went Sparta on the dragon.  I was cursing and yelling at it as my shovel smashed it into a million evil pieces.

I worried that my neighbors were going to call the cops because all they could hear coming from the other side of the fence was cursing and a shovel hitting the ground with epic force.  Then the cops would show up to find sweat pouring off of me and my shovel covered with blood.

Luckily, that didn't happen.

The worst part of my battle with the serpent was that my loyal dog, Gracie, left me to fight the snake alone.  As soon as the war started, Gracie took off to save herself and left me for dead. " Man's best friend" my butt.

But I won the battle.  The snake is no more.  But little did I know that I would not be welcomed home as a conquering hero.  In fact, what happened next was shocking.

To be continued....

***Note:  Okay, it was a garter snake.  But it was a BIG garter snake.

 

The Beast:

credit - a terrified randy
credit - a terrified randy
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